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IN THIS ISSUE

• Geoff Goodship waxes eloquent on the subject of digital cameras
• We get letters from Gail Mandel, Geoff, and Dick Monaghan´s daughter, Connie
• Pat Moore forwards the story of an embarrassing doctor´s visit
• Bruce Galway sends an article about burglars
• Zvonko Springer forwards an unlikely story
• The editor asks for stories of volunteers
• Catherine Green suggests a URL for an amusing video

Geoff Goodship extols the virtues of

THE DIGITAL CAMERA

I´m rather passionate about digital cameras. I used a film camera for many years but abandoned film and its expense and its smelly chemistry when the first digitals came out.

The good thing about photography is that it makes you see and appreciate the world around you in more detail. When you focus on one photographic subject, you forget about other things. If you´ve ever tried juggling, you will know that it´s impossible to allow other thoughts while you´re concentrating on keeping the balls in the air. Photography is like that.

The new digital cameras have changed photography forever. They are inexpensive, reliable, and easy to use. If you´ve ever had anything to do with film photography, there is little comparison with today´s small smart digitals. The things that would have taken you years to learn and hours to do in a chemical darkroom are now easily accomplished in software. That software is free and easily downloaded from the net, for PC or Mac.

Perhaps one of the nicest things about digital cameras is that you can use one of the main tricks that professional photographers have always used. The pros take great pictures by taking many pictures, then only printing the ones good enough to sell. Nowadays the pros and beginners can delete the poor ones with the push of a button. I use this technique continually. I must have taken eight or 10 photos trying to catch a bee photo recently. I select the best and delete the rest. Recently I took about 50 pictures at a family picnic in Victoria. None of these photos were posed, just casual shots of people enjoying themselves. The first time I looked at them, I deleted about 20. The next time I looked I deleted another 10. I´ll probably delete another five or six before I´m finished. I´ll then put them on the internet and send the link to members of my family. It´s so easy to do. Rather than send them all 20 pictures via e-mail, I just have to send a URL via email.

If you already have a camera and find your not using it, try taking it with you to the grocery store, the library, the coffee shop. Try taking your own photo in the mirror at the barber shop or hairdresser. And speaking of mirrors, take your own photo in your car mirror. What about taking some photos from the point of view of your cat or dog - some low-angle shots? You´ll have to get down on the floor for some of these. Get creative!

Speaking of cats, (if we had a cat) I would probably take three or four pictures of that cat every day. In two weeks, I would have 30 or 40 pictures of my cat. Then I would start to categorize them in different folders: cat on the chair, cat sleeping, cat eating, cat on the windowsill, cat grooming, etc. Now the fun begins. The challenge is to continue taking ever-better photographs and discard the poorer ones. This tends to develop critical perception skills.

All of this is done within your computer. You don´t need to take them to the drugstore for printing or purchase colored inks for your printer. Just keep them within your computers hard drive and continued trying to take ever-better pictures of your cat.

Bumblebee in rhododendron flower

Of course there is a variety of other subjects immediately available to you. What about the flowers that are around the library or park? The rhododendrons are magnificent at this time of year. If it were I, I´d sneak that camera inside the library, where there are all kinds of interesting things to photograph. Each photograph is the start of a story. The possibilities are endless. Different times of day produced different lighting conditions. I´ve heard it said that In the final analysis, photography is really about the control of light.

As you can see, I could go on for hours. The pleasure I get from still photography has remained with me over many years. What you need is a simple point-and-shoot camera, the size of a package of cigarettes. You don´t want one of the big clunkers that you have to carry around in a separate shoulder bag. If it´s heavy or awkward, you´ll leave it at home and miss many good photos. The new point-and- shoot cameras are very easy to use. They have automatic focus and automatic exposure. They will take macro [close-up] pictures, as well as landscape [mountains in the distance] pictures, and all done automatically.

Bumblebee with raspberry bush

So here´s a suggestion. Go to London Drugs, Staples, Future Shop, or a local camera shop. Ask for a little help in selecting a point-and- shoot camera. Get the salesperson to insert the batteries, set the date on the camera, and put in a reasonable memory card so it´s ready to use. The first steps are the most important ones. Make sure the sales clerk has shown you how to take a picture, then delete it. Don´t leave the shop till you can confidently take, then delete a photo. It doesn´t matter what you take pictures of; it´s just the exercise of learning to shoot and then delete that´s important. Ask about their return policy. Usually you can return any of their cameras within 15 to 30 days.

As soon as you bring the camera home, take a few pictures of anything: your hand, your foot, your chair, your cat - it doesn´t matter. Erase some and start again. Make sure you´ve taken at least 20 pictures before you think about moving them from your camera to your computer. That´s the next step. The camera will come with a cable that connects the camera to your computer. As soon as they are connected, the computer will recognize the camera. The computer will ask "Do you want to download and save these pictures?" It´s that easy.

Take the camera back to the store if you decide it´s not what you want. You may find a different type will better meet your needs. Mostly you want one that´s small, has a large viewing screen on the back, and is fully automatic.

Well, as you can see I´ve gone on much too long. If you have questions, go back to the store or ask a friend who knows. Photography! You´re never too old to learn something new.

ED. NOTE: This eloquence was prompted by my telling Geoff that I do not have a digital camera. The last sentence is a direct hit. ;)

CORRESPONDENCE

Dick Monaghan´s daughter, Connie, writes: I don´t know you, but I do know you´ve been an important pen friend in my dad´s life. I don´t know what he´s shared about his health - it´s not like him to complain, so perhaps he hasn´t said anything. He has had an aggressive form of thyroid cancer for the last several months, and I believe he´s very near the end of his time in this world. His downhill slide has been very rapid. Just a week ago, he and I went to the zoo, though he has been unable to walk for several weeks.

Dick is asleep most of the time now, not suffering at all, and if one has to die, his way is not a bad way to go. He´s at home with his wife, Grace; all of us kids are here with him in shifts, and the hospice has been wonderful.

I am personally deeply appreciative of all the great friends he still has!

It would be difficult to phone him at this point, but if you wish to email any message, I´ll be sure to read it to him.

ED. NOTE: Dick has been a subscriber and contributor to the Tale Spinner ever since it started, and we have all enjoyed his stories and his great sense of humour. It was just recently that he wrote about a visit to hospital with his usual flair. He will be greatly missed.

If you wish to send Dick a message, write to richardm6835@comcast.net

Gail Mandel writes: I liked the article about the two men who went back to their old town.

ED. NOTE: Gail is referring to the story of Mike Yeager´s and his friend Paul´s return visit to their boyhood home, Ferguson, Missouri. Mike described their return in the May 8 issue of The Tale Spinner. It was borrowed from Mike´s blog, www.aretiredboomer.blogspot.com

Geoff Goodship: You write: "... Canada would now be a part of the United States, fulfilling their dream of ´manifest destiny.´"

That Manifest Destiny is about to take a beating. News this a.m. is that Britain´s new government has decided that they should no longer be a part of the world´s police attempting to modernize a 13th- century Afghanistan. Britain´s pullout shall be "sooner rather than later," so the news report says. U.S. manifest destiny is about to undergo a big setback as Britain faces the economic truths about modern warfare.

ED. NOTE: Geoff is referring to a later version of manifest destiny than that which governed the early expansion westward of the United States. It later came to mean that Americans were uniquely positioned to spread democracy throughout the world, and this concept clearly played a role in twentieth century American foreign policy.

Pat Moore forwards this oldie but goodie:

THE SMEAR TEST

I was due for a smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor´s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 a.m.

I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 a.m. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn´t have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn´t going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the facecloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the facecloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped into the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I´m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven´t we?"

I didn´t respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal - some shopping, cleaning, and cooking.

After school when my seven-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mummy, where´s my facecloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard....

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter saved inside it."

NEVER going back to that doctor ever!

Bruce Galway sends this advice which was compiled from interviews with convicted burglars in four states by security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs http://www.crimedoctor.com/, and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

THINGS YOUR BURGLAR WON´T TELL YOU

1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.

2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.

3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste ... and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.

4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.

5. If it snows while you´re out of town, get a neighbour to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.

6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don´t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it´s set. That makes it too easy.

7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom - and your jewelry. It´s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.

8. It´s raining, you´re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door -understandable. But understand this: I don´t take a day off because of bad weather.

9. I always knock first. If you answer, I´ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don´t take me up on it.)

10. Do you really think I won´t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.

11. Helpful hint: I almost never go into kids´ rooms.

12. You´re right: I won´t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it´s not bolted down, I´ll take it with me.

13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you´re reluctant to leave your TV on while you´re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http:// www.faketv.com/)

14. Sometimes I carry a clipboard. Sometimes I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.

15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.

16. I´ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he´ll stop what he´s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn´t hear it again, he´ll just go back to what he was doing. It´s human nature.

17. I´m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it?

18. I love looking in your windows. I´m looking for signs that you´re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I´d like. I´ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.

19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It´s easier than you think to look up your address.

20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it´s an invitation.

21. If you don´t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Zvonko Springer forwards this one:

THE OLD MOTOR

The marriage of an 80-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.

The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?

The old man grinned and said, "You´ve got to keep the old motor running."

The following year, the couple returned to the hospital for the birth of their second child. The same nurse was attending the delivery and again went out to congratulate the old gentleman. She said, "Sir, you are something else. How do you manage it?"

The old man grinned and said, "You´ve got to keep the old motor running."

A year later, same thing with their third, and after the delivery, the nurse once again approached the old gentleman, smiled, and said, "´Well, you surely are something else! How do you do it?"

The old man replied, "It´s like I´ve told you before - you got to keep the old motor running."

The nurse, still smiling, patted him on the back and said: "Well, I guess it´s time to change the oil! ... This one is black!"

FROM THE EDITOR´S DESK

Inspired by the discovery that Carol Dilworth and Carol Shoemaker both have interesting volunteer jobs, I decided to ask who else among us is a volunteer. I would really like to hear those stories, so by way of encouraging others, I will tell you about my own efforts.

When I retired 23 years ago, I looked around for something to do that would utilize the experience I had gained in 17 years as a school librarian. I read a small item in the local paper from Shirley Conlon, the volunteer coordinator, at George Derby Centre, a home for veterans, asking for help organizing their library. I phoned and was accepted - and I´ve been there ever since.

I started in their small library and worked on it until a new unit was built for the veterans about 20 years ago. The administration hired a part-time librarian so I was no longer required in that area, but Shirley was not one to let volunteers drift away, so I was pressed into service in various other jobs. The one I ended up with was in helping the treasurer of the newly-created "gift shop". Over the years a number of treasurers dealt with the money the shop made, and I was officially designated as assistant treasurer. When I protested that there was no such office, I was told, "There is now."

It has turned out to be a dangerous position because at least three of those treasurers died while they were in office. You can see why I hesitated to accept the position, but since there were no other volunteers for the job, I finally accepted, and have been in it for some years now. I´m still there because no-one else wants it. Odd.

There are over 100 volunteers at Derby, engaged in a number of activities. In addition to the staff who run the canteen there are many other areas where volunteers are busy: going on lunch outings and shopping trips with the residents; sorting and delivering mail; playing cards or visiting with residents; coming out for pub nights to dance with the residents....

Twice a year the centre has a tea for the volunteers, and people who work over the lunch hour are entitled to a lunch, and coffee at any time. Volunteers enhance the quality of life for residents and are appreciated for their time, skills, and cheerful presence.

Volunteering has a special appeal for retired people: it utilizes their skills, gives them the satisfaction of being useful, offers opportunities for socializing, and gives them a reason to get up in the morning. If you are a volunteer, please tell us your story.

SUGGESTED SITES

Catherine Green sends the URL for a short video of a cheeky seagull:

An inspiring commencement address at Pennsylvania State University by Bono:

William Li presents a new way to think about treating cancer and other diseases: anti-angiogenesis, preventing the growth of blood vessels that feed a tumor. The crucial first (and best) step: eating cancer-fighting foods that cut off the supply lines and beat cancer at its own game:

How might the world end? Stephen Petranek lays out the challenges that face us in the drive to preserve the human race. Will we be wiped out by an asteroid? Eco-collapse? How about a particle collider gone wild?

For those health-conscious cooks who are exploring quinoa, go to http://arunaurl.com/3igg