Home  >> Stories  >> The Tale Spinner #2017-22

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IN THIS ISSUE

• Mia Shinbrot of Esquimalt, BC, wrote about service above and beyond
• We get letters from Burke Dykes and Kate Brookfield
• Kate writes about visiting Milan on their spring holiday
• Zvonko Springer forwards reactions to Trump´s health care plan
• Barbara Wear sends a story about a white lie
• Betty Audet shares some groaners
• Tom Telfer suggests interesting sites

Mia Shinbrot of Esquimalt, BC, wrote this account for Heroic Stories:

BOWLED OVER BY KINDNESS

My old desk chair slanted forward and to the left from many, many years of use by the summer of 2004. I´d been badly in need of a new desk chair for some time and looking for one I could afford. I don´t have much money, so that limits what I can buy.

I tried second-hand stores but never found anything that was right for me. My physical limitations mean that the vast majority of chairs cause me problems of one sort or another.

One week in August my friend Celu pointed out that a particular store was advertising in its sale flyer that they had a "leather" executive chair for $70 as part of their back-to-school sale.

I went to the store on a Saturday to see it. I couldn´t find those chairs, but a sympathetic clerk named Selena showed me that in fact there were six or seven of them left - disassembled in boxes.

I told her I needed to sit in a chair to see whether it would work for me. She offered to have one of the men in the back assemble one for me if I could come back on Sunday. I said Sunday was fine, but I might still not buy the chair if it wasn´t right. She said no problem; they needed a floor model anyway. (That left the point that if I *did* buy it, they´d still have no floor model.)

I went back on Sunday. I decided that though not perfect, the chair would do. For $300 I would have been fussier; for $70 it was remarkable value.

I took it through the register where the same clerk was working to pay for it and asked if the store had delivery. Selena wasn´t aware of any, but a man who was passing said it could be arranged by asking a manager to arrange it with the receiving department.

The clerk phoned the manager from the till. He asked her to ask me where I lived. As soon as I said, "Esquimalt," she told him never mind and turned to me to say, "I live in Esquimalt and I have a truck. I´ll deliver it for you when I get off work." That was going to be in about 15 minutes from that moment.

I had other errands to do and was just about to think of a way I could be home when she delivered the chair, when she said, "Go on about your errands and just phone me whenever you get home." I left the store almost in tears from her kindness.

I finished my errands, got home, phoned her, and she delivered the chair. It´s not perfect, but with a cushion I´ve made it work. Selena´s kindness above and beyond the call of duty is something I´ll never, ever forget.

ED. NOTE: To comment on this story, or to get your own free subscription to the site, click on

http://www.heroicstories.org

CORRESPONDENCE

Burke Dykes writes: There are days when I completely agree with your remark after Geoff Goodship´s article in the last Spinner, "They don´t build things like they used to!" But on the other hand, many things are better built and longer lasting:

As a child, it seemed that I broke my shoelaces almost every time I tied them. Now, I can´t remember the last time I broke a lace, and I really tighten them.

My poor mother was forever sewing patches on the pockets of my pants. The many interesting things that I kept in my pockets were always wearing holes in the fabric. I haven´t needed to have a pocket patched in more than a decade.

You´d hardly believe the times my mother had to darn the holes in the toes and heels of my socks. How I remember those little patches of crisscrossed string - and how the stiffer darning irritated the skin of my feet! I don´t have that problem anymore, partly because I throw the darned things away before I have to break out thread and needle.

And automobiles: in 1950 you knew that your treasured family auto would need a rebuilt engine by the time the odometer reached 40,000 miles - if you were lucky! Today, a car will normally reach 100,000 miles, and very often twice that. And today´s cars don´t require anything like the maintenance that was once required.

And don´t get me started on the myriad of products we are faced with in the supermarket. I look at the shelves of laundry detergent. Do I want Plus Colorguard, Free and Gentle, Plus Bleach Alternative, Purclean, Plus Febreze Botanical Rain, Original Scent, Simply Plus Oxi, Simply Clean and Fresh, Plus Coldwater Clean, or Ultra Stain Release? And that is just the liquid for one brand and doesn´t include "pods" or powders. If Mom sent us into town for laundry soap, we knew exactly what that meant, the one jug of her preferred brand!

And beer? That would take forever.

ED. NOTE: Check out the suggested site below about electronics "designed for the dump."

Kate Brookfield writes that her lawyer son tells her the story in last week´s Spinner about the lawyer and his cigars is false.

According to Snopes, this legend began its Internet life after it was posted to the newsgroup alt.smokers.cigars in early 1996, and it has continued to circulate as a "true story" in newsgroups, e-mail, and social media ever since, despite its having been long ago identified as a tall tale. The version posted back in 1996 was, in fact, nearly identical to one that had been published in a collection of amusing anecdotes over thirty years earlier.

ED. NOTE: Too bad - it was a good story. I should have checked it, but forgot. My apologies.

Kate also writes about their visit to

MILAN, ITALY

Our time in Milan was certainly one of the highlights of our travels.We travelled to Milan by train from Genoa. It was a cool day, but not actually raining, so we enjoyed the scenery, especially the bright green of new spring growth and the masses of pink and white blossom on fruit trees. All these bright colours were set against a backdrop of snow-covered Alps.

The journey due north of Genoa took us through the Po Valley plain between the French and Italian Alps. It was amazing looking out of the train windows on both sides to see the mountains so close. When we crossed the Po River, I was amazed at how low the water was compared to the width of the river bed.Apparently, Italy had a dry winter and fears a water shortage this coming summer.

Our apartment (found on booking.com) was well located on the fourth floor of a renovated monastery near the Sforza Castle, with its massive walls and tower, and within walking distance of the railway and metro stations.We walked across a road from the railway station and turned a corner to find a pleasant young man waiting for us. He greeted us by name and showed us to the compact and well-organized apartment with everything we needed, including a washing machine and a lift to the floor. Although not as spacious as the AirBnB accommodation in Genoa, it was a much better place for amenities, and had clear contact information and instructions in protective sleeves in a box on the desk. Where you stay on vacation becomes a temporary home, and it is important to me that the place is clean and convenient without being outrageously expensive. Hotels in major cities are usually out of our budget range for the length of time we travel.

We spent three nights and four full days in Milan. Often, when we travel, we do not spend too long in one place, so this was a longer than usual stay for us. I must admit that as I get older, I do not like having to pack up and move on after one or two nights.

The highlights of the stay were the Sforza Castle with its museums, gardens, and public park; the cathedral of a thousands of spires; the fashionable shops in the Victor Emmanuel Arcade; and da Vinci´s painting of the Last Supper, and the vineyard he planted.

Our apartment was just round the corner from the 15th century castle so we visited it almost every day, either walking through it or round it to get to other destinations.The outer ramparts are imposing and the whole area is like a large public park. The outer limit has a large monument celebrating Napoleon´s triumphal entry to the city. When it was built, Napoleon is facing Paris and with his back to the city. After his fall from fame, the Milanese turned the monument so the horses´ rear ends face Paris.

Castle Sforza

The 15th century castle is named after Francesco Sforza, Duke of Milan, (1401-1466) who built the original castle on the remains of an earlier fortification. It was later renovated and enlarged in the 16th and 17th centuries, making it one of the largest citadels in Europe. Between the end of the 19th and early 20th centuries it was restored and rebuilt by Luca Beltrami in 1891-1905. It now houses several of the city´s museums and art collections.

There is more information on the castle at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sforza_Castle

I was particularly interested in the archeology museum, which exhibits an amazing collection of Egyptian archeological remains, including mummies and sarcophagi, brought back to Italy from Egypt by early Italian archeologists. The exhibit shows the elaborate early Egyptian burials, with all the necessities of this earthly life that they thought the deceased would need to help them progress to the next life. The early sarcophagi were beautifully painted inside and outside, describing the life of the deceased. Over the years, the wooden sarcophagus was replaced with a shroud which was decorated and painted, and later still, elaborate vases containing the remains of the dead.

The story of one mummy fascinated me. It belonged to an Italian collector, who sold his collection to somebody else, and the mummy became used in a medical facility. Somebody decided it was disrespectful and wanted to stop using it, so had it sent for burial. But the mummy could not be given a Christian burial because there was no death certificate, so it was sent back to join the collection that is now on show in the Castle Milan museum´s collection.

Another exhibit is Michelangelo´s final unfinished sculpture known as the Rondanini Pieta. He was working on this before his death at 89. Mary is standing and holding Christ upright with his feet on the ground, as if they are holding each other up. Apparently, the artist was experimenting with conveying movement in his sculptures.

More details on all the museums in the castle can be found at website above.

Zvonko Springer forwards the following reactions to

PRESIDENT TRUMP´S HEALTH CARE

The AMA [American Medical Association] has weighed in on Trump´s health care package:

The allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while the ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing, and the internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The plastic surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The podiatrists thought it was a step backward, and the urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty cardiologists didn´t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Barbara Wear forwards the story of

THE WHITE LIE CAKE

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies´ Group in Tuscaloosa, but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale, and after rummaging through cabinets, found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and helping her son pack for scout camp.

When she took the cake from the oven, the centre had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured, and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is not time to bake another cake!" So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the centre of the cake. She found it in the bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold.

Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified. She was beside herself! Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP´d, she couldn´t think of a believable excuse to stay home.

The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old south, and to Alice ´s horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert! Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake. She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the mayor´s wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you. I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself, "God is good."

Betty Audet sends these

ATROCIOUS PUNS

The fattest knight at King Arthur´s round table was Sir Cumference.He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it´ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ´You stay here; I´ll go on a head.´

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

SUGGESTED SITES

Tom Telfer forwards this story about the $275,000 legacy left to the New Westminster animal shelter, where I got my dear old cat 11 years ago:

Tom also sends this link to the story of a homeless man who became a hero in the Manchester bombing:

In this animated TED talk, John Lloyd discusses what is invisible - more than you think:

This scary sea lion video shows why we should treat wildlife with respect:

Here are 12 leg-strengthening exercises that will help your balance:

From Annie Leonard, creator of The Story of Stuff, here is the story of electronics, where manufacturers "design for the dump," and a suggestion for how to solve this problem:

From the Huffington Post, here are some surprising animal thieves: